EBI; - you need to introduce those quotes and analyse them in place you have too many so lose track of your point.
- you desperately need strong topic sentence for each paragraph to show you're are focused on the Q.
-surely you must have more texts for you bibliography? You need more books + journals for the top topics
- ending is weak; history of hip hop feels thrown in to pad it out
- where is feminism and new/digital media ?
Grade A - things to do order to achieve it
